Have you ever thought about how lucky you are to be you?
to not be me.
to have friends?
and a family?
Have you ever thought about how lucky you are to be able to walk?
To have kids who can walk?
To have kids who dont have Duchenne?
Do you know how lucky you are to live each day with a fully beating heart?
Not one that has been bent and broken over and over again and again and then forced to keep beating missing so many pieces?
Do you know how lucky you are to be you?
Because I sure do.
YOU are SO lucky.
And i wish for a second I could be you.
You with your healthy family,
physically able kids.
you with your mom,
you with your dad,
you with your siblings.
you with your #BFF.
you with your fully beating heart.
YOU are so lucky.
And I wish for a second I could be you.
I REALLY try.
I mean have you seen my Facebook?
One day I am cool and ready to take on anything and the next I am like a 4 year old little girl who cant even get a word out thru her sobbing.
I am a train wreck most days, but I TRY.
And i just feel like I get no credit.
I feel like God, is always silent.
I feel like Job.
Like this whole life of mine is some big bet God has with Satan...
And If we are being honest right now, it is really starting to piss me off.
maybe today Satan...
just to spite God and His stupid bet.
I am just SO over it.
I am over feeling so un-lucky.
How does someone do this?
THIS super unlucky life?
especially when you are up against Satan.
how do i keep getting out of bed when all the odds are stacked so high against me?
and I know, each day is only going to get a little harder, a little worse, a little un-luckier, than the last...?
i guess i can start with trying to feel the luck in the tiny fact that I have a bed to barely get out of...
Do you know how lucky you are?
to not be me?
because I sure do.