What Love Ain't.

I. Love. You.


Three of the most over used and under valued words in the human language.


Does anyone know what it truly means to love another being? I mean, we all have these ideas of what we think love is and we live in this culture where it is perfectly acceptable to use these three little words in place of actually being accountable to be there for someone. We say, "I love you" and think that is enough for someone to truly feel loved, and make ourselves feel as though we are doing some amazing thing by saying it. We pat ourselves on the back and then go back to our own lives, talking about how much we love others and how amazing we are for it.


Especially in the church, we 'church' people are often the worst. We claim to be so loving, kind, and selfless...loving our neighbors...

but only...

as long as it suits our own desires...as long as it works with our schedule...as long as others in the community are witnessing it...as long as we can also talk about ourselves, comparing our lives, comparing our troubles. We 'church' people tend to think loving people is a give and take transaction.


And I am so tired of accepting that or feeling 'bad' because I expect more than that.

And I also dont think Jesus's death on the cross would mean even close to what it does mean, if He had just stood next to the cross and shouted, "I LOVE YOU" and then headed down the hillside...or decided to get off the cross because his sadness was greater than our sin.


NO.


He not only shouted the words, he demonstrated what they actually meant. And got on that cross and died for each of us. Despite how hard it was, despite his pleading with the Lord for another way. He died for us because He LOVED us, unconditionally.


He said and He showed.


Now, obviously, I dont think we all need to walk around dying for each other, but honestly would it hurt if, instead of saying, "I love you" to someone, you SHOW THEM.

You show up...

Unexpected, unannounced, with a candy bar and a listening ear.

YOU JUST BE THERE.

like FOR REAL...BE THERE.

Just because.

No social media post needed...just love that person. No stings attached, no comparison charts, no paycheck, no pat on the back required. Don't even bring those three little words...because the words are not needed if the actions are genuine and the words are pointless if the actions dont match.


No need to climb on a cross, but perhaps look at the cross and genuinely try to recreate that kind of love in this World so desperate for it. Especially when it is obviously what someone is needing.


Sadly, I have become numb to these three words. When someone tells me they love me, it doesnt even penetrate my skin. I have heard these words over and over again, with little to no action to back them up. They literally mean nothing to me anymore. And honestly, it makes me cringe to write that, to say it, but sadly, it's true.


And I gotta be real honest, there are many times, I feel more love from a stranger I gave my used water bottle to while he was begging on the street, than I feel from my own family and friends who tell me they love me..the strangers actions, the tears in his eyes, mean SO much more than my family and friends empty, repetitive words.


The saying is true...actions speak louder than words.

They do.

And we need to stop thinking they are equal.

They aren't.


There is this song...

yes, another song. I told you, my love language is music....

there is this song, and the chorus says,

"I may not know what love is, but I know what love ain't."


Isn't that interesting and so darn true!? Not any of us really know what love is, we have ideas of what we think it should be and could be, what we would like it to be...but we dont REALLY know what exactly it is. The dictionary gives many different definitions, the Bible is also a bit vague in telling us exactly what love is...

However, it is very easy to define what it aint...right?

I am sure we can all think of a few moments when someone did or didnt do something or said or didnt say something to confirm what love aint.' I could write for days, telling you about all those ways I have discovered that love aint'...


Love ain't just words...

Love ain't calling once a year to say Hi...

Love ain't gifts...

Love ain't money...

Love ain't competing for attention...

Love ain't begging for affection...

Love ain't judgmental...

Love ain't allowing people to treat you like crap...


But really...ain't nobody got time for that. '


So instead why don't we all use some good ol' common sense and just demonstrate our love by showing people what it means. By our actions, not only our words.


Especially us 'church' people....shouldn't we be the best ones loving people? Shouldn't we be the best ones demonstrating what love is...shouldn't we be known for our love?


If we were all truly looking at that cross, we would be.

No words needed.



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