It's crazy to think about life ten years ago. I mean, it was basically a whole different time, place, existence.
Ten years ago smart phones were just being released, cable tv was still a thing people had to pay for and people still had dinner at a table in a kitchen with other humans, with gluten, UNorganic produce and dessert.
Ten years ago.
Boy do I feel old.
I can only imagine what the really "old" folks are feeling.
Because I dont know about you, but I would rather be living life the way it was 10 years ago.
Back when you had to pick up a phone attached to a wall to call your friend to see if they wanted to come over.
Back when a selfie was a photo you would not be able to alter or change or even look at until you dropped off the throw away camera at Walmart and then went back one hour later to pick up the photos and find half of them were so crappy, they had to go to the trash.
Back when life felt simple.
There was more love and less judgement.
More support and less selfishness.
More grace and less entitlement.
It all just feels so hard now.
Actually having "people".
Actually being with and around people.
Actually being like Jesus and for Jesus.
Over this past year, since being diagnosed with Duchenne. I have had alot of time to watch, to listen, to be more aware and present in this life and one of the main things that seems to stand out the most to me is how different relationships and community is now verses ten years ago. And I cant help but wonder if our "digital" world has something to do with that.
Ten years ago, your neighbors were your family. Your friends were your family. Everyone had someone. Community was a clear, obvious and understood action of the people around you. It really was a village, everyone did something, no one was doing life alone. And growing up, I had an amazing community. I always had someone to talk to, lean on, and cry with. There were always open chairs on the driveway for people to sit and hang out. There was always food to eat, drinks to drink and laughing to do.
It was simple.
No checking in on Facebook, highlight posting on Instagram or Tweeting on Twitter.
These days, I honestly only know the names of 3 of my neighbors and all we exchange are friendly waves and hellos, which usually seem forced and unwilling. We are active in many different community groups and events and have no best friends or day to day "people". We are part of a MEGA church, and hardly ever know the people sitting next to us on a Sunday. Which for a long time I struggled with the idea that maybe it was me. Maybe I was the reason we didn't have real people. real friends. real community. I struggled with believing the lie that I was not good enough or just too broken or didn't deserve to have people since my family was gone. But over the past few years and especially this past year, God has made it abundantly clear to me, that is just not true. Everyone deserves to have people. Everyone is capable of being in real community with real friends...however, we live in a digital age and this makes community and relationships so much harder.
Its really quite sad that we, the people, are okay with liking a persons status instead of having a conversation or commenting on a photo instead of going to see each other. Its pathetic, that 'family dinner' consists of a Facebook live update of our dinner plate and tags of our husbands and kids with stupid hashtags. It is so distasteful, that our "group" messages are usually pissing contests to see which person has it the hardest, has the best kids, or is the busiest on a weekday. It should be a tragedy that we have made so many advancements and achievements in technology, yet we are clueless to see the damages of this intelligence and what it is doing to our community.
Friends, Duchenne has literally rocked our World this is not just another typical health issue. Its a much bigger deal than people seem to think. The boys wont be getting better. EVER. We would do ANYTHING to change it, to delete it from our life, to add a filter and make it look prettier.
But we cant.
Life isnt digital.
Life is real. And life with Duchenne sucks...especially without REAL community.
You liking this post, or commenting on my photos or sending me a text with praying hands emoji...is so very kind...but honestly it just DOES NOT COUNT. and it honestly hurts to know that so many of our friends and family think it does.
This summer, it is my plan to be a better neighbor, a better friend, a better mom, and a better person. Living more like 10 years ago and less like the current digital age.
I hope you will consider joining me 10 years ago.